Life will present difficult moments when we least expect them and sometimes when we feel least equipped to handle them. When I was diagnosed with invasive breast cancer weeks after my third child was born, I went into crisis mode. There is no threshold for what constitutes a crisis and everyone's experience will be different. Often when we feel overwhelmed and unprepared to move through a difficult situation we get stuck and feel unable to make decisions that will help us navigate through rough times. Taking action is necessary, so follow these steps to move through your toughest trials. If you are experiencing a crisis and need help navigating your next steps, schedule your free consultation.
1. Breathe
Regardless of the crisis, you will have a physical reaction. In order to deal with the mental and emotional aspects of the crisis, you will first have to calm your body. One deep breath is a great place to start but chances are this will be an experience that lasts hours, days, weeks or months. Find a quiet calm place that you can go to sit and breath when you are feeling overwhelmed. Having this practice as part of your daily life will prepare you for when a crisis arises. It's never too late, but it's great to have the routine to go to when life gets tough. The Insight Timer app is free and has breathing and meditation guides available for all different types of occasions. I suggest it as a great place to start.
2. Assess the Situation
Something terrible has happened. Maybe you have received a terrible medical diagnosis. The first step to take objectively assess the damage. It's easy and very dangerous to approach this emotionally. Ask yourself the following questions:
- Is this true? Take an objective approach to assessing the details and write down the facts.
If you find that your crisis may not actually be a crisis but an opportunity to grow, take this off ramp. Do the work to improve your situation. Schedule a second and third opinion to determine if you have the correct diagnosis and if there are additional treatment options. In a medical crisis there will likely be many new terms and you may find yourself in a fog. I recommend bringing an advocate/friend/loved one with to your appointments, if possible, to help you take notes and ask clarifying questions.
- Take a second look now that you have all the facts. Asses your options by writing down and organizing all of the information that you have gathered.
3. Accept your reality
This is very easy to write and extremely difficult to do. The most important step to moving through your crisis is fully understanding and accepting the reality of your situation. This may take time and it will be a process. Have love and grace for yourself and all involved. This is hard and that's ok. Work at it.
- Write down your objections to accepting your situation. The physical act of writing it down will help to quantify what is hard about your situation.
- Write down next to each objection the cost of not accepting and dealing with this objection.
It might look something like this:
Objection 1
I am a healthy person. I am not sick and accepting my cancer diagnosis will mean that I accept that I am now a sick person.
Cost of Inaction 1
If I don't accept that I am sick, I may not make the decisions necessary to ensure that I survive.
4. Take Action
Create an objective that has an associated strategy with very clear tactics. This will be your framework to move forward. It might look something like this:
Objective: Beat cancer
Strategy: Get the best care possible through all available methods
Tactic 1: Research the best medical team and find out if I can get coverage through my insurance
Tactic 2: Find alternative therapies that compliment my medical teams treatment plan
Tactic 3: Find others who have recently had a similar diagnosis and ask them about their experience and what they wish they would have known when they started their journey.
Having a plan to move forward is critical. The plan will change so use it more as a guide but having something concrete that you can move forward with is the best way to get started moving in the right direction. There are a lot of things that you may start to do that don't move you toward what you ultimately desire. Writing the plan in this way keeps you focused on your end goal.
5. Re-asses Periodically
Being in crisis mode is exhausting, mentally, physically and emotionally. In order to stay healthy, you must be aware of when a true crisis is occurring and take steps to move through it as expediently as possible so you can return to a neutral, calm state. If you find yourself always in crisis mode, moving from one to another it's really important to understand the effect this is having on your body and mind. Being in a constant state of stress is dangerous. Learning how to navigate the natural flow of life is critical to optimal health and wellness.
Life is full of difficult challenges that require intentional and thoughtful action to navigate in a way that will best support your mental and physical health. If you are in a crisis and need guidance, reach out.
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